Conscious: – Whoooooo!!! Three in a row? Your ass must be on fire! What’s with all this hate, huh?

Subconscious: – Hate? Why do you say that? I’m full of love!

Conscious (laughing): – Love? That’s how you call this? I smell obsession and desperation. You’re such an attention w***e!

Subconscious: – Watch your f*****g mouth! You smell nothing, but yourself.

Conscious: – I swear to you my butt is clean so that’s not it! It’s you and only you!

Subconscious: – Okay, so we’re joking today. Someone is in a good mood. Why? What happened?

Conscious: – You keep bugging me, that happened. The difference today is that I listened to some Eminem and I’m ready to deal with all your smelly bulls**t! I’m so pumped I’m gonna beat the s**t out of you! You won’t control me anymore! I’ll be your master now!

Subconscious: – Sure, sure… I’ll allow that…NOT! How can you be the master when you don’t even know what I’m capable of? I’m always in a search for a weakness to take advantage and get in control! You know you want the things I want all the time and you know you’d be happy if all your deepest desires come true; you’re just too chicken to act on it and I’m not!

Conscious: – Listen here, grilled zucchini, all the pain we faced over the years was because of you! How can you say you want happiness if you keep f*****g everything up?

Subconscious: – I’m not, you are! You stupid Caesar Salad! If you let do my thing all the way, the outcome would be real! Just like now! If you let me pursue my love, we’d get sooo haaaaapppyyyyyy!!!

Conscious: – How do you know? You always “love” something or someone until you don’t! Love doesn’t come and go like that! It’s just the desperation talking, which is you!

Subconscious: – Desperation, shmelsperation. That’s everything you know? Why you’re such against me all the time? I just want to make our life better! You should be grateful, instead of acting like an angry pickle!

Conscious: – No! All you want is to have fun! You’re like Jell-O during an earthquake! You just want to shake your pickle!

Subconscious: – And what’s wrong with that? I have a nice pickle! I deserve to have fun with it!

Conscious: – So do it by yourself, without f****g other people’s lives! Short-term fun has long-term impact! Just follow my lead! I’ll find helpful fun!

Subconscious: – Your fun is no fun at all! Go back to drinking… I had so much liberty back then… It was so much fun… You’re boring when you’re sober.

Conscious: – And that’s why we’re still alive and we still have a family!

Subconscious: – I don’t want a family! I want tits and butts and sex and porn and junk food and money and pizza and sex and pizza and tits! Oh, and butts! How hard can it be to get it?

Conscious: – Just… get the f*** out! I’m gonna cut your pickle off one of these days…

Subconscious: – Impossible! You don’t own a chainsaw.

Conscious: – Incurable…