Subconscious: – Sup’ bro? I forgot to ask you something yesterday. Why the hell do you make public these awful conversations? I mean, I know I’m the star of this and I’m the one people want to read about, but you’re a horrible conversation partner. I’m embarrassed because of you! Why, why, why? Just WHY?? You can keep an offline journal or some sh**…

Conscious: – I don’t really know… I guess it’s because I know all people have inner conversations, which sometimes don’t seem to have logic. And too often those conversations screw up that person’s overall state. I think people need to know they are not alone and that everybody has similar conversations… Maybe I can be the ally in their inner war.

Subconscious: – Inner war? Bro, this isn’t a war. There isn’t a war between an ant and a boot. I’m just crushing you. The End! War… so laughable… when was the last time you won a battle?

Conscious: – I’m winning every single day! You’re just unaware of it.

Subconscious: – I’m not aware? You can win only if you play with yourself, otherwise I’m aware of it! By the way, when was the last time you played with yourself? You seem cranky. Go play with your worm. I think there are some monkeys f*****g on National Geographic Channel. That should put you in the mood.

Conscious: – Wha…?! Never mind… I don’t even want to know where did that came from. I hope no other subconscious is as stupid as you… This is f*****g embarrassing…

Subconscious: – Why? You know that with the power of me those monkeys can turn into the best porn you ever seen in your entire life, so…

Conscious: – Why monkeys? What’s wrong with regular porn, not that I do that…

Subconscious: – With the power of me, you do it. You’ll do whatever I tell you to because there is no war. There is just a master and a slave! And guess which one is you?

Conscious: – I’m the idiot having arguments with himself… And that says enough. Don’t you have something else to do? Go count the leaves in that big f*****g tree outside our window! It’s such a nice tree…

Subconscious: – Trees aren’t f*****g, even if they’re nice. The monkeys were the ones f*****g. Pay attention to me!

Conscious: – Not today, lil’ bro… not today… Let’s see what’s on TV. Uuuuuuu! National Geographic Channel…