Subconscious: – Posting again, huh? It’s been a while! By the way, why did you chose to post on Tuesdays? Are you too lazy to do it on Monday?

Conscious: – Actually, I don’t want to ruin my week by starting it with you! You’re not the best company someone can have, you know?

Subconscious: – Right back at you! If you didn’t counter me every step of the way, we would be happy. But noooo! You have to be stubborn! You are The Joy Killer!

Conscious: – Well, your ideas want to ruin our health so I have to keep you in check!

Subconscious: – My ideas are fun! Like yesterday… if you took my subtle hints to get drunk, we would’ve had an awesome time!

Conscious: – Subtle? You grabbed a bottle of vodka and you put it in the shopping cart. And because of that, our wife got mad at us. That wasn’t subtle nor fun.

Subconscious: – I know you like it! The drinking would’ve been fun. Too bad you put it back on the shelve.

Conscious: – I told you I don’t want to drink anymore because that puts you in charge and you f*** up our life. What about puking is fun? And why do you keep linking “fun” with “drinking”?

Subconscious: – Because that’s how you used to do it. It’s not my fault you made a habit out of it. By the way, I’m not f****** our life. And even if I would, it’s the only kind of f*** you see! Thanks God to my porn fantasies.

Conscious: – I don’t think God has anything to do with your porn fantasies, but whatever. Do what you want. Just don’t get in my way because I’ll make your life hell.

Subconscious: – Sure, sure, your highness Satan! If I may, an advice? That fork is not a butt plug

Conscious: – That’s the only way I can shut you up!

Subconscious: – If you’re saying I’m a butt, I’m gonna shit you good!

Conscious: – That’s what you do best!

Subconscious: – And you… f***… I’m out of punchlines… You are a cat poop! That’ll show you!

Conscious: – This is pointless… let’s wrap this up.

Subconscious: – What? The poop?

Conscious: – Unfortunately, I can’t wrap you up…