Conscious: – Dude, why you so grumpy lately? Did the Grumpy Cat possessed you? Mostly you act like having a family of hedgehogs up in your ass.

Subconscious: – Funny. It seems you took my sense of humor. You and your mother are hedgehogs!

Conscious: – That’s your mother too, you know? What’s wrong with you?

Subconscious: – I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of your PMS or something. I’m sure you did something to piss me off.

Conscious: – PMS? That’s the best you can do? Come on! Hit me hard! You’ll feel better.

Subconscious: – I don’t wanna do it… and it’s your fault! You and your drinks! I was in charge of this f***** body for too long and it exhausted me. Stop drinking so much!

Conscious: – You’re right about that… but I don’t think this is why you’re so grumpy. When would be the right time to take responsibility of your own s***?

Subconscious: – I don’t know, man… I don’t know what to do with my life…

Conscious: – Ooohhh… that’s the problem! What can I do to help you figure it out?

Subconscious: – You could leave me alone!

Conscious: – That’s not gonna work. What do you see yourself doing for the rest of your life?

Subconscious: – I don’t know and that’s the problem. But what do you see yourself doing for the rest of your life?

Conscious: – Honestly? No idea! Maybe I’ll go with writing or maybe I’ll develop an app so great with my upcoming python skills that will keep me busy developing it for the rest of my life. And it would make me a s***load of money. I don’t think I need to have it all figured out. I just need to keep moving forward.

Subconscious: – You’re a sucky writer and not a programmer, so good luck with your plans.

Conscious: – Here’s the thing: one year ago we had no clue where we’re heading and today it’s a little better. We’re trying s***. Maybe some of it will fit us better. I’d suggest you go with the flow, that flow being me.

Subconscious: – Since I have no better alternative, okay. Will be porn involved?

Conscious: – Okay… sure… (that’s a deeper problem and I’m not ready to deal with it just yet).

Subconscious: – You’ll never be able to go that deep with your little d***

Conscious: – Heey! You’re back! That was easy.

Subconscious: – One of us has to be easy and you know you’re fat. I’m the easy one. Hold on! That didn’t sound right!

Conscious: – That’s just perfect!