Subconscious: – You really want to do this, don’t you? How about no?

Conscious: – Yes, I want to! Come on, dude! It will be fun!

Subconscious: – Okay, fine! What is this anyway? You’re no sunshine. Your smile brings rain.

Conscious: – It’s an award nomination. Let’s thank wifeblah for this huge honor she made us!

Subconscious: – Oh yes! Thank you for making me a star! How does it work? Can we do anything we want?

Conscious: – Hell no! There are some rules:

  • Embellish your blog with shinny logo above.
  • Give a bunch of thanks to the blogger who nominated you.
  • Answer the 11 questions you have been asked.
  • Give this shiny honor to other bloggers.
  • Ask 11 questions.

Subconscious: – Sounds complicated. Now what?

Conscious: – Only for that little head of yours. Now we answer the questions. I’ll ask and you answer?

Subconscious: – Hit me like Chris Brown hit Rihanna.

Conscious: – Okay! First question: How many blogs you owned before this one you have now?

Subconscious: – As far as I know, this is the first one, right?

Conscious: – Right! Second question: What is your blogging style?

Subconscious: – Porn talk! Sexting! Anything related to s*** and d***!

Conscious: – Stop embarrassing me! Can we agree that the blogging style is conversational?

Subconscious: – Yes yes… f***** conversational! NEXT!

Conscious: – What’s your favorite font style? Modern? Cursive? Fun?

Subconscious: – The default one in Word. I don’t care about fonts.

Conscious: – You’re so insensible! Mine is Dream Orphans, but you never let me use it. Let’s go to the next question: Minimalist Clean or Colorful Decorative?

Subconscious: – Uhm, what? I don’t need colors in my life, so minimalist clean, whatever that is!

Conscious: – Again, insensible. But I agree with you on this one. I like clean things. Fifth question: First thing you do when you wake up?

Subconscious: – I pee. And then I mock you. That sets my mood for the day.

Conscious: – And that’s why the first thing I do when I wake up is to ignore you. Next question: Do you always misplace your phone?

Subconscious: – I never do! I’m watching it more than I watch myself! It’s the love of my life!

Conscious: – Not good, dude. Not good… It seems you’re addicted to it.

Subconscious: – So what? It’s healthier than vodka!

Conscious: – F*** off! Next question: Do you talk to yourself?

Subconscious: – Never! What would be the purpose of it? That’s why I have you.

Conscious: – Yeah… cute. Who’s the last person that gave you a big hug?

Subconscious: – Our wife!

Conscious: – Who’s the last person that messaged you?

Subconscious: – Same!

Conscious: – When was the last time you pray and say thanks?

Subconscious: – I don’t pray and I don’t say thanks! Next question!

Conscious: – Maybe you don’t, but I do. I say thanks all the time, but not to you. Last question: When was the last time you appreciate yourself while starring at the mirror?

Subconscious: – Get rid of that fat and appreciation will come! The questions are over. Now what?

Conscious: – If you help me, I would get rid of that fat! Now we need to nominalize some bloggers. Have you paid any attention to what I’ve told you before? I told you the rules a few minutes ago. You have the shortest memory ever!

Subconscious: – That’s what she said to you, but not regarding the memory. Can I do the nominalizations?

Conscious: – NO! I’ll do it!

Subconscious: – Why not???

Conscious: – Because you’d nominalize only porn stars or something. I’ll do it!

Subconscious: – Ok… you kill all the joy! But I’ll do the questions for them! Who do you want to nominalize?

Conscious: – Ok. Hmm… let’s see:

Subconscious: – That took you long enough! Let’s get to the fun part now: My questions:

  1. How often do you have nasty thoughts and what are they about?
  2. When was the last time you got into an argument with someone and what was the reason?
  3. What is your opinion about death?
  4. How often do you argue with your own thoughts?
  5. What do you fantasize about?
  6. What would you like to achieve with your blog?
  7. What excites you the most?
  8. What does success mean to you?
  9. Who/what do you love the most?
  10. How would you describe your past?
  11. Which ones of your habits are the most hurtful for your future?

Conscious: – You didn’t do a horrible job. Let’s wrap this up then, ok?

Subconscious: – Thanks… I guess. How to wrap it up? Do you have a condom or something?

Conscious: – Nevermind…