Subconscious: – You really want to do this, don’t you? How about no?
Conscious: – Yes, I want to! Come on, dude! It will be fun!
Subconscious: – Okay, fine! What is this anyway? You’re no sunshine. Your smile brings rain.
Conscious: – It’s an award nomination. Let’s thank wifeblah for this huge honor she made us!
Subconscious: – Oh yes! Thank you for making me a star! How does it work? Can we do anything we want?
Conscious: – Hell no! There are some rules:
- Embellish your blog with shinny logo above.
- Give a bunch of thanks to the blogger who nominated you.
- Answer the 11 questions you have been asked.
- Give this shiny honor to other bloggers.
- Ask 11 questions.
Subconscious: – Sounds complicated. Now what?
Conscious: – Only for that little head of yours. Now we answer the questions. I’ll ask and you answer?
Subconscious: – Hit me like Chris Brown hit Rihanna.
Conscious: – Okay! First question: How many blogs you owned before this one you have now?
Subconscious: – As far as I know, this is the first one, right?
Conscious: – Right! Second question: What is your blogging style?
Subconscious: – Porn talk! Sexting! Anything related to s*** and d***!
Conscious: – Stop embarrassing me! Can we agree that the blogging style is conversational?
Subconscious: – Yes yes… f***** conversational! NEXT!
Conscious: – What’s your favorite font style? Modern? Cursive? Fun?
Subconscious: – The default one in Word. I don’t care about fonts.
Conscious: – You’re so insensible! Mine is Dream Orphans, but you never let me use it. Let’s go to the next question: Minimalist Clean or Colorful Decorative?
Subconscious: – Uhm, what? I don’t need colors in my life, so minimalist clean, whatever that is!
Conscious: – Again, insensible. But I agree with you on this one. I like clean things. Fifth question: First thing you do when you wake up?
Subconscious: – I pee. And then I mock you. That sets my mood for the day.
Conscious: – And that’s why the first thing I do when I wake up is to ignore you. Next question: Do you always misplace your phone?
Subconscious: – I never do! I’m watching it more than I watch myself! It’s the love of my life!
Conscious: – Not good, dude. Not good… It seems you’re addicted to it.
Subconscious: – So what? It’s healthier than vodka!
Conscious: – F*** off! Next question: Do you talk to yourself?
Subconscious: – Never! What would be the purpose of it? That’s why I have you.
Conscious: – Yeah… cute. Who’s the last person that gave you a big hug?
Subconscious: – Our wife!
Conscious: – Who’s the last person that messaged you?
Subconscious: – Same!
Conscious: – When was the last time you pray and say thanks?
Subconscious: – I don’t pray and I don’t say thanks! Next question!
Conscious: – Maybe you don’t, but I do. I say thanks all the time, but not to you. Last question: When was the last time you appreciate yourself while starring at the mirror?
Subconscious: – Get rid of that fat and appreciation will come! The questions are over. Now what?
Conscious: – If you help me, I would get rid of that fat! Now we need to nominalize some bloggers. Have you paid any attention to what I’ve told you before? I told you the rules a few minutes ago. You have the shortest memory ever!
Subconscious: – That’s what she said to you, but not regarding the memory. Can I do the nominalizations?
Conscious: – NO! I’ll do it!
Subconscious: – Why not???
Conscious: – Because you’d nominalize only porn stars or something. I’ll do it!
Subconscious: – Ok… you kill all the joy! But I’ll do the questions for them! Who do you want to nominalize?
Conscious: – Ok. Hmm… let’s see:
Subconscious: – That took you long enough! Let’s get to the fun part now: My questions:
- How often do you have nasty thoughts and what are they about?
- When was the last time you got into an argument with someone and what was the reason?
- What is your opinion about death?
- How often do you argue with your own thoughts?
- What do you fantasize about?
- What would you like to achieve with your blog?
- What excites you the most?
- What does success mean to you?
- Who/what do you love the most?
- How would you describe your past?
- Which ones of your habits are the most hurtful for your future?
Conscious: – You didn’t do a horrible job. Let’s wrap this up then, ok?
Subconscious: – Thanks… I guess. How to wrap it up? Do you have a condom or something?
Conscious: – Nevermind…