Subconscious: – Good morning, you drunk! Time to eat something! Make an omelet. You’ll feel better!

Conscious: – What? What year is this? Why am I hearing voices? Who are you?

Subconscious: – Relax. It’s just me. Actually, it’s always me! That vodka really hit you hard. That little glass knocked you down. You’re definitely not a Russian. Drink some water. You’ll feel better.

Conscious: – Wait… I remember you… Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden? You were in charge so you could do whatever you wanted. Oooohhhh… you did something wrong, didn’t you? What the f*** did you do?

Subconscious: – I did nothing! Why you’re always so mean to me? I was just trying to help.

Conscious: – I’m mean? ME? I’ve been drinking and you’ve lost your memory? You know very well how mean you are to me. Now, tell me. What did you do while you were in charge?

Subconscious: – Nothing… You woke up too soon…

Conscious: – So you had a plan, didn’t you? What was your plan?

Subconscious: – You’ll never know because I’m not going to tell you!

Conscious: – Hmm… let me think… all you care about is yourself and your only needs are food, porn and money. There is food and you’re too stupid to make money, so it must be something related to porn. You’re not ashamed to show me the things you imagine, so it must be something real since you were in charge. You keep showing me butts and tits around us whenever you have the chance, so it must be something related to that. You didn’t text anyone, did you? So who you were about to text?

Subconscious: – That really impressed me! How the hell did you know? I bet you can’t figure out whom was I about to text.

Conscious: – Honestly, I don’t care. I won’t spend any drop energy with this s***! Let’s prepare for work.

Subconscious: – It’s our day off, you dumbass! How about searching for some napkins?

Conscious: – For what? Ohhh… Actually, I’m not surprised you came up with this “unique idea”. Why don’t you go do your thing and I’ll do mine? We’re clearly not on the same page.

Subconscious: – Go drink some vodka and we will be. You asleep and me in charge!

Conscious: – That won’t happen again! I’ll quit!

Subconscious: – Sure, I believe you. Come on, you said that before. What makes you think you’ll do it this time?

Conscious: – Now I have a purpose!

Subconscious: – What’s your purpose?

Conscious: – To transform your negative voice into a positive one!

Subconscious: – That’s impossible! You can’t transform me!

Conscious (picking up a book): – Just wait and see.

Subconscious: – Stop doing that! Here are some tits! Here is a butt! Find those damn tissues! Let’s do this! Let’s find some immediate pleasure!

Conscious: – Not today, my friend. Not today!